Mansplaining the Porsche Macan

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In my last post, I explored the Ford Mustang and urged women to make it their own. Cars and gender, while not at all bound together, still build stories. Marketers have known this since the beginning of driving. Making a choice about a vehicle–consciously or not–is part of your self-identity. I don’t suggest men and women need to drive certain cars; I do suggest that a person of any gender should confidently drive whatever they want. Females who want Mustangs should go get Mustangs–no matter what a male may say. (Blah, blah blah, blah blah…) Now here’s a challenge for the guys:

Gentlemen, we need to take our Macans back.

At least where I normally drive in Connecticut, no one drives them except Soccer Moms. And who wouldn’t want to run errands and transport family in comfort and style? The Porsche Macan delivers those things quite well. However, EVERY single reviewer of the Macan gushes enthusiastically about its performance. So why don’t don’t many enthusiast reviewers own one? Is it because it’s a car for girls?

Let’s don “No M’am” T-shirts and grunt in protest like The Toolman. Let’s tell the women we know to hand over the keys! If the Macan is so awesome, they should, right? Dude, we NEED this like bench presses and Muscle Milk!

THIS WOULD BE AWESOME, BRO!!!!!

Let’s get with the times. Al Bundy and Tim Taylor were anachronistic even in the 90’s. But automotive journalists across the globe love the handling, acceleration, and utility of the Macan. There are videos of people tracking them and taking them off-road. Turbos keep up with sports sedans, equal them in luxury, and surpass them in practicality. The GTS is a bargain for what you get, and it doesn’t really depreciate. The Macan S is the sweet spot and can be had at a nice discount if purchased coming off lease. (Soccer Moms can keep the base model.) Are all these Macans going to waste?

Kind of, but not because of female drivers. All in all, the Macan is a Swiss army knife bristling with capability, the Ultimate Dad Wagon. It’s unassuming–not the Ford Raptor, Hellcat, or Type-R that we dudes all say we want. The above picture notwithstanding, minimal effort is needed to enjoy this crossover during a long commute, driving autocross, or traversing some surprisingly rough terrain. We dudes just need to get real.

Sure, I’d love a monster truck as a daily and a track car that shoots flames just for fun. Maybe I’ll just mod a Macan instead? Should you watch for possible build series in the future? Probably not. There’s a certain dude-flavored dignity in carrying a messenger bag, wearing a crisp, pink dress shirt, and styling your hair–before driving to hockey practice. Isn’t your style–and your ride–all about being yourself?

I think I would just leave my Macan as is because who would really be judging me if I drove one? Car guys. Who should really be driving Porsche Macans? Car guys comfortable in who they are, in touch with what they want, and realistic with what they need in a vehicle.

Gentlemen, in the end, we may really need to take our Macans back from ourselves.

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